“My most direct experience of the Resistance arrives each time I decide that I am going to be physically active”

Of course, most of you immediately think of WWII, or the 60’s, or Star Wars, or maybe even what might be required of us in the near future, but today I’m focused on the force which rises against me in almost all my efforts at self-improvement, against reaching my goals, against the work of the better angels of my nature…so to speak. Steven Pressfield does a masterful job of describing the force of Resistance as it relates to any creative effort in his book, The War of Art. He describes it as a force sleeping next to him in bed waiting to pounce on him the minute he awakens. He believes that resistance comes in many forms – procrastination, illness, emergencies, self-doubt, self-indulgence and on and on.

My most direct experience of the Resistance arrives each time I decide that I am going to be physically active. This is true whether I have been religiously training for an event, or whether I have been sitting on the couch for weeks (metaphorically or, just occasionally, literally). It begins as a voice in my head speaking on behalf of the body total and goes roughly like this.

“Whoa there little lady, what exactly is going on here? You cannot possibly be thinking of upsetting the beautiful stasis of the body at rest. I am speaking now on behalf of your autonomic system - this is a bad idea. We seek only your best interests here; maintaining the state of comfort afforded by the modern world – getting everything we need to live with almost no effort. Any option requiring more exertion than, say, driving or typing or walking to the refrigerator is, quite frankly, dangerous. And, if these are dangerous, can you imagine the risk you are taking heading out to, I can hardly bring myself to name it…. exercise? I can tell you that we will not take this decision lying down, as it were. We will make it difficult. We will present you with many, many options to defer this ill-advised impulse, some of them delicious. If you persist, we will make the first 30 or so minutes miserable for you. I’m not kidding. And, if you’re looking for my friends, the endorphins, to kick in you will be sadly disappointed at just how long and hard a workout that will require. Wait, you’re getting up, putting on your shoes, heading out the door? Well, I warned you, just sayin’.”

Mostly, like this morning, despite the snow and the cold and the wind, I persist, because I am committed to trying to stay healthy. And now, I sit here delighted to have vanquished said Resistance one more time. That said, the first 30 minutes were indeed kind of awful!

When I sit down to write, the voice of the Resistance is softer, but no less compelling. It asks me what on earth I am doing writing a book when there are already too many in the world. It suggests that I will fail miserable and maybe publicly, if I get that far. It reminds me of how old I am and how young other authors were when they began their careers. It points out that I’m not all that interesting and neither is my life and suggests that my opinions are better left inside my head. It proposes that I might read instead, arguing that the activity also involves books and reminding me that reading is something I’m quite accomplished at. Plus, it advises that it’s hard work to write a book, and particularly hard writing a memoir; what with all the people I might tick off, the secrets I might inadvertently publish and my propensity to embellish. It’s an altogether bad idea, this book. Better to just enjoy a goalless retirement, yes, that’s it, maybe pick up knitting, but just things for myself, no need to make my creative efforts public.

But, like my snowy hike this morning, and despite the daily efforts of the Resistance to make me quit, I have begun. And, I continue, not because I think everything the voice says is false, but because I have committed to do this thing. I believe that this writing is the work I am called to do now, even if no one ever reads the words I write.

The more I oppose the Resistance, the stronger I get. But I don’t let myself believe that it will ever go away, that would leave me much too vulnerable to its wily and conniving ways. So, if the voices in your head sound like they are part of the Resistance movement, just keep putting one foot in front of the other in the direction of your dreams. When you get to the finish line it will be all the sweeter because you persisted against all the odds, even the ones in your own head!